


Something To Come Back To

by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 21:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10795539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Citadel is destroyed. The Mass Relays are damaged. The Normandy is gone. Commander Shepard is alive.





	Something To Come Back To

**Author's Note:**

> So I've only just recently beaten Mass Effect III and like most of the fandom I absolutely hated the ending. This here is the first part of what I hope will be a better extended ending. I hope you like it.
> 
> I've tried posting this a couple of times in the past but I was never happy with how it turned out, and I deleted it each time. This one, on the other hand, I'm feeling much better about. That being said, I would like to politely ask for any and all criticism you can muster. In addition to satisfying my need for a better ending, I'm hoping to improve my writing skills with this fic. To that end, I'd like even the most mundane of criticisms to help myself improve.

There was a part of Shepard who hoped that, when she woke up in the hospital, she wouldn't be alone. She had hoped that she would have been surrounded by her friends and loved ones, the people most important to her.

She wanted to see Garrus, so the two could talk about something mundane now that the war was over, and so she could probe him more about his relationship with Tali. She wanted to see Vega again, so she could once again congratulate him on the N7 promotion he should soon formally receive. She wanted to see them all. Each and every person who had fought with and for her right up until the very end. She wanted to see Sam again.

However, such a blessing seems to have been lost to her. For all her troubles, all she has been given to show for it is an undecorated white room, an empty bed beside her, and isolation.

Well, that isn't entirely true. In her brief stay at this venue, she was greeted with one familiar face. That of Admiral Hackett, whose professionalism poorly masked the weariness in his voice as he thanked Shepard. Again and again and again. He had clearly entered the room with the intent to maintain his usual stoicism, but found it faltering more and more as the occasional uncharacteristic emotion shone though his tired voice. After some time of this, the two sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company as they avoided the weight of the world awaiting them in their post-war society.

"Admiral Hackett?" Shepard eventually asked, finally shattering the convenient facade they had been building.

"Enough with the formalities, Jane," Hackett responded softly, keeping his voice low more for himself than anyone. He wasn't quite the surrogate father than Anderson had been, but now, with his professionalism having all but fallen, he wanted to at least try and be a friend to a woman who needed it most.

"Steven, then," she said with a small forced smile after a moment. "What... happened to the Normandy? My crew?" The words caught in her throat, not wanting to get out to face what might be an uncomfortable truth.

The uncomfortableness in her voice wasn't lost on Hackett, who knew his own would come out similarly. He licked his lips with a small sigh. He wasn't sure how to tell her the truth, that they were still MIA. He removed his hat, settling it loosely on his knee. "We... _I_ don't know..." He made sure to speak slowly, as he was carefully choosing each of words. "As far as I know, they made a jump just before the Relays went offline. But with communications so limited right now, we likely won't be able to find the ship and her compliment until we can repair at least Charon."

Shepard's hands tensed, trying to find a comfortable position in her lap. Bad news was expected, given the circumstances, but it still stung to have it set in stone like that. She felt quivering in her throat, as she silently fought to suppress a sob. She looked down at her hands, which had settled on the least uncomfortable position they could manage. "I see..." she finally said, weaker than she probably should have, "Thank you, Steven."

"I'm... sorry that I don't have anything more reassuring," Hackett continued after a few seconds, only for Shepard to try and wave it off, to try and help him. He saw what she was trying to do. She was trying to be strong, because she had to be. Commander Shepard, from Akuze to the Reaper War, she had always had to be the strong one, so that others wouldn't have to. But that wasn't the woman Hackett was seeing before him now. The woman before him was fragile, more than he had ever seen of the Commander. She had won the war, but had her own struggles to deal with. He wished truly that he could offer the support he needed, but he knew that wasn't his place. He wasn't a replacement for Anderson or her crew, and he couldn't hope to be.

The two sat in silence for a short time more, though there was a definitive thickness in the air that hadn't been their prior. He eventually excused himself, assuring the Commander that she would be the first to know when anything else is found. It didn't elicit a verbal response from the woman, who had moved little since her last few words, only receiving a single small nod of understanding.

Hackett had come to visit her several times over her stay at the hospital, which all tended to progress similarly. They would speak casually about nothing or sit in silence, at which point Shepard would ask for news that did no exist. And each time, Hackett could tell, she had to fight harder and harder to keep herself strong. Though each time, she never let herself show any emotion, save for her gradually faltering voice

* * *

It had been two months since the Crucible was activated, two months since the war had been won. Shepard's recovery was nearing completion and she would finally be able to tell the galaxy that she was alive. For most, that might sound like a promising and even hopeful future. And while it would be a lie to say she didn't want to finally leave this hospital, it still felt empty. For all she knew her crew, _her family_ , were dead. She had saved the wold, but not her own.

A familiar knock appeared at the door, followed by the entrance of Admiral Hackett once more. While she looked forward to his visits, her one connection to the outside world, she also loathed them, as his company always came hand in hand with remorse. He stepped into the room confidently, a way he hadn't done since his very first visit. Though all their previous interactions had fallen swiftly into a calm, if not shaky, complacency, he was determined to not let that happen again. 

"Steven," she said with her usual forced smile.

"Jane," he began, almost proudly, "We found them."

For the first time since her admission to this hospital, she shot up in surprise, eyes wide. Her mouth parted slightly as they were accompanied by a gasp, and remained as such as she stared at Hackett, wordlessly begging for him to reveal more."

* * *

Shepard never moved from her bed while she was waiting to be released, unless she absolutely had to. Any of her minimal leisure activities could be done from her bed and even then she had preferred to be alone with her thoughts most of the time.

But today was different. Today the Normandy returned to Earth. Today she could see everyone. She could see Sam. She properly brushed out her hair, which had grown substantially during her stay here. She had a proper shower with a few scented soaps and shampoos a _very_ helpful nurse had smuggled in for her. She felt reinvigorated, even if she didn't fully look the part. Two months of bed rest had noticeably thinned her, and restricting herself to her room had caused her skin to grow paler. She looked to be a shadow of her former self, but she didn't care. She was going to see Sam again. She was going to see _everyone_ again.

No fewer than three separate times did the hospital staff have to rush to her side while she waited. Heart monitors aren't built to distinguish between life-threatening danger and high nervousness, and the latter had been plaguing her for most of the day.

Eventually, seated at the side of her bed, she heard voices down the hall. Angry voices, trying to stop someone. Footsteps swiftly joined the noise. One set of feet, moving fast. The steps grew louder and louder, as did the voices, before they gradually slowed just outside her door. Though the voices didn't stop, one of them threatening to remove the offending runner from the premises, it didn't seem to stop whoever was struggling to find the switch to the large door separating them.

With the short hiss of the hydraulics, the door eventually opened, revealing an all-too familiar face. The last she saw when the Citadel and the only one she's wanted to see since. Samantha Traynor wasted no time, and continued her path into the room the instant the door began to open. Without exchanging words, the two embraced, holding each other tightly, as though letting go would cause the other to disappear again.

The voices outside almost immediately fell as the scene began to unfold. The hiss of hydraulics began again as the door closed to give them the private moment they needed. Shepard made a mental note to thank that nurse once more.

The two continued to hold each other close, so much so that it was almost becoming painful to the weaker Shepard. "Sam, I--" Shepard began, before being cut off.

"Not yet. Just a bit more." Sam's voice was breaking despite how quiet she was trying to speak. She had needed this just as much as Jane had. Shepard gave a half nod and fell back into the embrace.

"I thought I had lost you," Sam finally managed to say, only breaking her hold on the other woman enough to look into her eyes.

"I thought I lost you," Shepard replied, "I was so afraid..." In matching eyes with Sam, Jane saw they were beginning to water. 

"We all thought we were prepared for what almost happened, but I couldn't accept it," Sam said, tears slowly beginning to fall, "I didn't even want to put your name on the Memorial." She paused for a moment, trying to find more words while attempting to dry her eyes. "How--" she began, only this time it was her turn to get cut off.

"Stop talking for a minute," was the only warning Shepard gave before pulling Sam into a kiss, one long overdue. Neither of them could say how long they held each other like this, though it was long enough for some of the rest of the Normandy's crew to catch up with the over-enthusiastic comm specialist and enter the room.

They eventually managed to separate from each other, holding their foreheads together for a few moments more.

"How did you survive?" Sam managed to ask, albeit slowly. The question probably wasn't the most appropriate one for the moment, but it was one that had been on her mind ever since she saw the damage done to the Citadel. No one should have been able to survive that, not even the legendary Commander Shepard.

Jane realized she had begun to cry. She didn't know exactly when and, quite frankly, she didn't care. She didn't want to be strong right now. "Because I had something to come back to."

**Author's Note:**

> I initially planned on including Sam in this quite a bit more, but I felt it was best saved for the next part of this little project of mine. I plan on adding quite a bit mroe to this story, so feel free to drop suggestions.
> 
> And again, I just wanted to ask for criticism again, so I can hope to improve. Thanks again, and I hope you liked it!


End file.
